To Have Loved & Lost
by IThoughtMYJokesWereBad
Summary: Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone deserves love. But to him, to love would be an injustice. But why? One-shot.


**A/N: Yet another drabble. 3x4**

"Do you think Wufei will ever find someone?" Quatre murmured, leaning back into Trowa's warm embrace. He let his eyes slip closed for a small moment, reveling in the feel of Trowa's arms around him. If he was to be honest, that was where he was happiest; no other place had any competition. Sandrock offered some comfort, but there, in Trowa's arms, he felt love, he felt at home.

Trowa released a small sigh, tightening his arms around Quatre's slim waist. "He won't allow it."

Quatre's eyebrows scrunched together, a small pucker forming between them. He smoothly turned in Trowa's hold, coming chest to chest with the taller young man. "What makes you say that?" he questioned, blond head cocking slightly to the side like a confused puppy.

Trowa smiled at the sight. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Quatre's forehead, resting his forehead there while he tried for the correct words. "Justice. Wufei would see it as an injustice to find another." His green eyes closed as he inhaled a deep breath, taking in Quatre's sunshine scent.

"What is his deal with justice?" Quatre muttered to himself, placing his arms around Trowa's waist. "I don't see how falling in love would be an injustice. If anything, after all he's been through, it would bring him some justice and peace."

A soft chuckle rumbled in Trowa's chest, a small smile gracing his features. "One would think that," he answered, running a hand through the hair at the nape of Quatre's neck. "But Wufei..." he trailed off, not knowing how to word his comrade's reasoning in a way Quatre would accept it.

Silence fell over the two. Quatre waited, knowing that words sometimes came as a difficulty to his partner. He settled for leaning into Trowa, running his lightly calloused thumbs over the small of the older boy's back.

Trowa's smile grew a little, almost imperceptibly. "Did Wufei ever tell you about his life before Meteor?" he asked, opening his eyes to gaze upon Quatre's still boyish face. When the blond lightly shook his head, Trowa continued. "He had a wife. If I remember correctly, her name was Meilan." He stepped back from Quatre, leaning against the counter with arms crossed.

Quatre looked dumbfounded. He had never known such a thing. And with Wufei being as young as he was, not to mention before the war... He briefly found himself wondering what the wedding had been like, if there had been a wedding. He wondered if Wufei loved her, if they had any children, or had wanted any children. It was hard to picture Wufei in a family environment, surrounded by mini-Wufeis, running around playing. To imagine him with a wife; holding her tight during thunderstorms, kissing away her fears when she woke up from a nightmare.

Trowa watched the expressions flash across Quatre's face. He recognized happiness, confusion, disbelief, curiosity, but most of all was sadness.

"You said 'had,'" he whispered so low that even Trowa's trained ears almost missed the words. The brunet nodded somberly. "What happened?" Quatre had the feeling deep in his chest that he was going to regret asking, but he just had to know. Wufei was a brother to him; he felt obligated to share his pain.

Sadness flitted across Trowa's face as he stared back at Quatre, gauging whether or not he should tell him. What all should he tell him? "She died protecting their colony. Wufei had been unwilling to fight, so she chose to." The gasp that escaped Quatre's lips halted Trowa's story. He reached one hand out, gripping Quatre's shoulder comfortingly. "He fights in honor of her." As an afterthought, he added, "Have you ever heard what he refers to his Gundam as?"

Quatre thought for a moment, before remembering, "Nataku?" he asked, smiling slightly when Trowa nodded that he was correct.

"Meilan referred to herself as such. Nataku was an ancient Chinese warrioress," Trowa explained, a small but sad smile playing at his lips.

Quatre stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Trowa's waist again, resting his head on Trowa's chest. "I never knew," he whispered.

Long fingers ran through Quatre's blond hair soothingly. He didn't say anymore, recognizing that silence was best—silence for Meilan's lost life, silence for Wufei's troubles, and silence for the sake of silence.


End file.
